MEDIA: Is Mike Walters for real?

Robert Toole

Hatchet jobs on Mario Balotelli, and City, are nothing new and generally are so absurd they’re not worth the paper they’re written on. However, I couldn’t help but take exception to Mike Walters’s reaction to the West Ham game in today’s Daily Mirror

Three things I would have taken away from the article if I were a moron were:

1) Balotelli is a pyromaniac 

“Mario Balotelli collected his customary bonfire night accolade from Roberto Mancini – a rocket up the arsonist.” wrote Walters in relation Balotelli’s displeasure at being substituted. Walters went onto refer to Mario as “the great Italian pyromaniac” and “Rocket Man” before he quipped “there were more sparks and sour aftertaste than that Tommy Cooper gag about police collaring two kids who swallowed battery acid and a firework: They charged one and let the other off.”

Honestly, talk about making a mountain of out molehill. He was substituted and he didn’t like it: shock horror. Then to incessantly refer to a story about Balotelli from over a year ago just because it is 5th November is pathetic. For someone who is *paid* to write they could have at least constructed their dislike for Balotelli in a more intelligent way.

“If looks could kill… Mario Balotelli gives manager Roberto Mancini both barrels” another woeful pun from Walters

2) City are in a crisis

“City may be unbeaten in their defence of the title, but don’t let Bobby Manc and Rocket Man’s catfight cabaret get in the way of the facts. Last season, City plundered 36 goals in their first 10 games – but over the same course, they have managed only 18 this year.” splurted Walters.

Firstly, I don’t think anyone was particularly blinded by “Bobby Manc and Rocket Man’s catfight”. Secondly, sitting two points off the top of the league and remaining unbeaten after ten games really isn’t that bad. Sure, City have not scored an average of 3.6 goals per game this season but neither has anyone else. City are not as good as last year, well done lad, you did well to work that one out.

3) City were lucky to draw

Walter’s went as far to imply that City were fortunate to leave West Ham with a point: “Andy Carroll’s overhead kick and Yossi Benayoun’s volley were all desperately close calls for City” Walters enthused, conveniently forgetting that West Ham only registered a single shot on target against City’s eight. Though City were wasteful they enjoyed 61% possession and no one should be under the illusion that City were fortunate to earn a point, no matter how much someone tries to twist the facts.

To read the full hatchet job click here.

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